Category Archives: Drama

Pretty Little Liars & Mean Alex Mack

Spoilers if you haven’t seen the Pretty Little Liars episode “The Mirror Has 3 Faces”!!!! (Ye’ve been warned…)

So, Ezra is NOT the father (cue Maury music and dance), but he was MAD, rightfully so. How horrible was it for Alex Mack to just be all, “Sawwie, gotta go!” when he was like, “You made me fall in love with him.” HOW RUDE, ALEX MACK! (Also: how awesome is it that she’s on THIS show AND Mad Men? Well done, Alex Mack, well done). But seriously, that was LOW. And we were supposed to be creeped out when Ezra was just staring into the darkened window/his dark reflection when he called Aria, right? It wasn’t just because this is like the first time I’m watching the show at night and not during broad daylight the next day? (It was on Hulu at 10pm Honolulu time. That’s what’s up!!). There are people out there who think Ezra is on the A-Team, right? (And those who think Aria, but seriously y’all, Aria ain’t bright enough for that….) Or is this going to be a creepy fake-out like Byron was?

Does Ezra expect Aria to get back with him? I was seriously expecting him to say to Alex Mack, “I dumped Aria for a fake son?!?!?!” But alas, that would have been too on-the-nose I suppose….I like Jake but I don’t know if Aria does. Does she even like Jake?

I seriously expected Caleb and Hanna to break up. I mean, how else is he going to do Ravenswood? (Seriously, what is that show going to be about? Is it going to be all grey like that one episode!?!?!?!) So that was a bit of a surprise that they just started making out after their fight outside Mrs. Hasting’s office (where has Mr. Hastings been during all of this?!??!)

Was anyone scared of Mrs. Hastings when she was talking to Mona? Because I wasn’t. I’m more afraid of my own mom, sorry (grrrl is intimidating!). But poor man’s Mariska Hargitay just didn’t feel sassy and badass enough. A jail cell ooooh nooooooo. And she fell right into the trap, didn’t she? Not a very good lawyer, eh?

So Wren (is he even a doctor? That was on the FBI’s board, remember? Where has Young FBI Guy been lately? And his partner, Ms. Frizzle?) is incohoots with Red Coat. Do we really believe Red Coat is CeCe? CeCe didn’t seem very smart….But Wren? Why? What does he get out of this? Is he getting paid? And Mona knows? WHAT IS MONA’S GAME?

I was HELLA creeped out during the basement scene (totally still staying there ewwwwwwww), and when Mrs. D said that Aly and CeCe used to put on each other’s personalities. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Toby’s mom and the Alzeheimer’s Dr. Palmer: BOOOOOOOOORING. Let’s get on with it already. And Mrs. D was totally lying right? Or not telling the whole truth? Dr. Palmer was going to remember that one time Mrs. D came in? Yeeaaaaa, right.


So, CeCe is doing all this because of the frat party where she got kicked out of school? Did we see that party and I just forgot it? No, seriously, did we? Even Aria barely remembers it. “That was almost 3 years ago.” Come on, Aria, how many frat parties have you gone to since?

Also: wasn’t Aly’s room also where Maya lived? WHY DID NO ONE MENTION THAT? Isn’t that more/equally upsetting for Emily? WHAT ABOUT MAYA????

Overall: creeptastic but no answers except for Cece (but even?) and I’m just as confused and mad as ever. Le sigh.


The White Queen Premiere

Disclaimer: I’ve been in a real big Philippa Gregory kick lately – I’ve legit read like 7 books in the past month because a) need something fun and easy to read at the beach and b) I DON’T HAVE A JOB. So, I’ve read The White Queen (loved it) and The Red Queen (Lady Margaret is suchhhh a draggggg), two of the three books this series is based off. (Still haven’t read The Kingmaker’s Daughter and now I see there’s The White Princess that is just waiting for me to read too wahoo!!! Seriously. I have a problem. I NEED HELP).

That said, the premiere was pretty entertaining. I mean, daaaaaaaaang, them bishes be SASSY and BALLER. Lady Rivers (Jacquetta, who is also the main character of Lady of the Rivers which is also a book I’ve read and actually a very entertaining one too (true love!) which I feel like should also be part of what the series is based off…) is so in charge and is so on top of things I just kept being like “ooooh SNAP” throughout the episode. And her daughter with the dagger? That was a cray move but King Edward (oh hellooooo, Jeremy Irons’ son Max! You’re handsome, aren’t you? Hey, nice buttocks) liked it. And at the end with his mom? That whole scene (and the one with Lady Rivers and Lady Margaret Beaufort) was so awesome. Like, CRAZY AWESOME. Like, that could have been the whole episode and I would have enjoyed it. Like, man I don’t even know. It was just baller.

These women are AWESOME and I’m glad there’s another show out there where the women are clearly in charge and are awesome (along with Game of Thrones and stuff, ya dig?). Like, yea, the men totes fight on the battlefield, but the women are the ones really in charge. Did you see the way Lady Rivers put her husband in check? Well, done.

And I love a show that has James Frain being sassy. Love that man. I mean, have you seen this? Quite possibly one of the best parts of True Blood, without a doubt.

Pretty excited for the next 9 episodes. If nothing else, it’s entertaining. And, I mean, nekkid people! But also: you learn! War of the Roses, bro! It seriously happened! Yorks vs. Lancasters….and I’m in a Wikipedia hole now, as I always am after/whilst reading a Philippa Gregory novel….damn.

PLL Bday Fail

Spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched the 8/6/13 episode of Pretty Little Liars, mateys!

Emily’s got the worst birthday ever in the history of Rosewood. Is she the unluckiest of the PLLs or what?

I’m sorry, does anyone care about Ezra and Alex Mack’s kid and whether she does or doesn’t move to Washington? Why can’t he go with her? He’s a teacher at a high school where his underage ex-gf is a student. What exactly is keeping him in Rosewood? I, for one, think a story arc where he’s thinking about moving away and Aria’s all “Wahhhh” and/or “Fine! Go! Begone!” would be more entertaining, plausible and just plain ol’ better than him fighting with Alex Mack for stupid little Malcolm. Also, what “assignments” was he going to miss? IS HE EVEN IN KINDERGARTEN? He’s going to miss a coloring assignment? STUPID PLOT. MOVE ON PLEASE.

Was Aria drunk at the party? Like, seriously what was in that cup? She was hot and cold with Jake but in a way where I thought he’d be like, “Yeaaaaaa, you cray, see ya” and not going back to her place (again). Was also surprised “Kim” wasn’t his sister or cousin or something. Seems like a PLL move.

Poor Em can’t catch a break. And neither can Hannah’s mom. So are Emily and Paige broken up? [It’s like not even Thanksgiving yet, is it? Was the Halloween train from this year? WHAT MONTH IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE? ARE THEY SENIORS? SHOULDN’T THEY HAVE ALREADY APPLIED TO COLLEGES? Can’t they stay together until Paige actually goes to school?] Did Paige try to kill Jenna? Is that what Emily’s thinking when they go to bed? I’M CONFUSED. Although, with this show, I’m always confused. Like, where the eff did Shawna (don’t know how to spell, can’t be bothered to check…) come from and where did Noel go? How/why does Jenna have so many paramours? So will Jenna’s near-death experience mean she’ll talk to the girls? Doubtful, but we can hope.

(SIDENOTE: Does no one remember Hannah and Emily’s first boyfriends from the beginning of the show? Where are they? Why are they never addressed? Also, where the heck is Lucas? And when does Caleb go to Ravenswood? And why? How?)

Where did Pastor Ted get the money to post bail for Hannah’s mom? (When Spencer’s mom was all “a million dollars” I really wanted her to say it like Dr. Evil. Could have been awesome….) Did he like place a bet on her innocence or something and that’s why he’s got “a lot riding on her”? Does not compute.

And so we had tons of Mike, Aria’s lil brother, and now none? Ok, Mike, go back to being invisible! Twas fun!

Jake’s abs: more, please! Pretty please? (He’s far far far more attractive than Toby who I was very glad to see wasn’t in this episode…)

So, Mona’s….good? Bad? Protecting Hannah? Effing them over? Why is she glad to be back in Radley? What’s her game plan?

And CeCe (ugh, I can’t believe they spell it like that. What’s wrong with Cece?) is the big bad? I refuse to believe that. We don’t know enough about her or care about her for her to be the big bad. And there were no ‘A’ text messages this episode? Or were there and I missed them?

I ALWAYS HAVE MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS after watching this show and it’s so incredibly frustrating. But also entertaining. I mean, I’m still watching this show, aren’t I?

Also: LOVED Aria’s black dress, I don’t know how I feel about plain Paige’s boring straight hair, and wasn’t Hannah’s hair just long and had extensions like last week or a few weeks ago? Emily’s outfits were boring. Spencer’s were ok. But how did Emily think that was Spencer in the lake? It was clearly Jenna. Like, duh, Emily. Did you even know what anyone was wearing?!?!

(All I can think about when I see Jenna in her glasses is that The Soup clip where she’s playing the flute. You’re welcome).